Catching up

Please accept my sincere apologies for the lack of posts lately. I promise I'm still here, (occasionally) reading your blogs in between, well, life. I feel like I've not only alienated my blog readers, but also my real-life friends. The only friends I talk to anymore are the ones at work and the ones on my class discussion board! I normally get really stressed out this time of year, but this year with school it's been doubly bad. Over the past few weeks, I've been working on a huge project at work, finishing up a 15-page paper that was due last night (thank God!), planning a baby shower for my friend (smashing success), and getting ready for Christmasukkah (ugh, don't even ask where I am with that). I'm at the point where nothing sounds better to me than going to bed at 9 on a Friday night and waking up a glorious 10 hours later to do laundry. Which, after turning in the paper, is exactly what I did!

Thankfully, on Monday we're leaving for our annual trek to the U.P. Staying with my inlaws, particularly in the winter, is about the least-stressful vacation ever. They live in the middle of the woods, they don't have internet, there's nothing to do in town, and even if there was, leaving the house involves at least two snowplows, an ice pick and potentially a bulldozer. So all there is left to do is eat, sleep, showshoe, and watch TV. Sure, it gets a little boring, but boring is exactly what this gal needs right now. And, even better, Brad gave me my big gift early - a video iPod nano! I've never had an iPod before, and I'm convinced it is just about the coolest thing ever. I've been downloading TV episodes like they're going out of style so I can have plenty of stuff to keep me entertained when I'm up north. So, take heart -- not only am I alive, but I plan to soon be very well!

Since this post is bound to remain front and center for, oh, the next month, I'll leave you with a pic I took this morning of the two guys who have been keeping me relatively sane. :)

Strange trip

One deep-fried turkey and lots of presents later, we're back from the U.P. It was a very bizarre trip! Brad developed a nasty stomach bug during the drive there, and we got to know all the gas stations north of Mackinac City very well. I've known Brad for almost six years now but this is only the second time I've ever seen him really sick -- and he doesn't take it well! As his dad says, "we don't do sick."

Luckily, I'm great at taking care of people, so between jaunts to the grocery store for crackers and Sprite, I had him back in the ring the next day.

Over the next few days, we saw some of Brad's high-school friends (which have pretty much become my high-school friends by default), went to a few of our favorite haunts, and did a lot of sleeping and eating. I attempted some slow walks on my in-laws' new treadmill (why didn't they have this last year, back when I could actually run?), but I'm paying dearly for it today with a very painful knee. I'm counting down the days until my surgery!

The six-pound statistic

This time of year, Brad and I always have the same argument. You know that often-quoted statistic that the average American gains six pounds over the holidays, or whatever the number is? Yeah...we argue over that. Every year. We're an exciting couple, let me tell you.

I'm not one to normally "rank" my statistics, but that one is at the bottom of my list. It's right above blondes having more fun. I don't care how fat, skinny or in-between you are, I don't get why the five-week period between Thanksgiving and New Years is an excuse to eat yourself into a coma and be forced to contend with the Jan. 2 resolution-setting gym crowd.

Now, far be it from me to be self-righteous about my own eating habits. My version of "everything in moderation" involves only eating three-quarters of a 16 oz. ribeye so I can save room for the chocolate suicide on the dessert menu. I can't go around berating people about losing weight as someone who could stand to do so myself. But the holidays thing? Just makes me mad.

The "discussion" typically goes something like this.

Husband: There are so many big meals this time of year! Thanksgiving dinner! Christmas Eve dinner! Christmas brunch! How can you get through those meals without eating a lot?

Me: Three big meals? I eat that in a typical day! You're telling me that three meals in a five-week period are going to make me gain six pounds?

Husband: But they're really big meals.

Me: I don't care how much food is on the table, you can only over-eat a certain amount before you make yourself sick. And I don't see most people puking after Christmas brunch.

Husband: Okay, but what about all that in-between stuff? Those holiday luncheons and parties?

Me: Holiday luncheons are lunch. They're not lunch-on-top-of-lunch. You skip your regular burger and fries at Bennigans and eat ham and deviled eggs instead. I normally feel pretty full after lunch; I don't feel fuller after lunch (or dinner) because "holiday" is in the name.

Husband: But there are cookies and candy everywhere you go.

Me: There are cookies and candy everywhere you go ALL YEAR! Buy them from the freaking vending machine down the hall in April! Walk into Kroger and fill your cart in July! No matter where I go during any month, I always have the option of eating junk food!

Husband: But...egg nog is only available for two months!

Me: Okay, you win that one. (I looooove me some nog. But it's not like I drink it twice a day.)

Husband: Well, people don't have time to exercise during the entire months of November and December. (He doesn't really say that. In fact, I'm exaggerating most of his statements just to make me look smart.)

Me: You have more time off during November and December that you have during the whole year. Despite all the running around I do, I'm usually bored to tears. Get up at 11 instead of sleeping in 'til noon and go for a walk!

I guess if I survivded on lettuce and diet coke throughout the year and started stuffing myself with mashed potatoes and gravy in November, I'd gain six pounds. Maybe it's because I eat like crap all the time that a few pieces of ham and some peanut-butter cookies in December aren't going to put me over the edge (see? A testament to eating like crap. Yea). Still, I think people hear that statistic and figure it's acceptable to stuff themselves silly every day for five weeks because it's the "norm." Honestly, the only thing it will do is make you miserable when there's a two-hour line for the stairmaster in January.

I'm curious to hear what other people think. Do you gain a ridiculous amount of weight over the holidays?

(By the way, sweetie, if you're reading this...I was talking about my OTHER husband. :)

All I want for Christmas...

Yesterday, Brad and I went to The Mall(TM). I had a gift certificate to spend at Macy's, and he needed a cable at Radio Shack. (Seriously, can you think of a more stereotypical reason for a married couple to go to the mall together?) And this is all I have to say about the Christmas lights and the giant tree: Jesus is one lucky dude. If we celebrated everyone's birthday two months in advance, I'd already be elbow-deep in vanilla sheet cake and have six shots of Captain Morgan on my bar tab.

But it worked, I guess, because it got me thinking about "the holidays" (but you're silly if you think I mean Thanksgiving) in early November. I am one of those people who's notoriously difficult to buy for. I'm at the point in my life where if I want something badly enough to withstand the guilt of depleting my checking account, I'll buy it myself. I don't spend a lot of "fun" money and I'm relatively practical about the money I do frivolously spend, so I feel like it's my right to purchase something I want when I want it. If I want a pair of earrings in August, I'm not going to wait four months to pull them out of a box wrapped in reindeer paper.

So when Brad asks me what I want, my first response is usually "nothing." And I'm not just just saying that because I don't know what I want. I know what I want, and I either a) have it already, or b) have deemed it way too expensive for me to own at this point in my life. While I have no problem accepting frivolous gifts from people, I do have a problem knowing those frivolous gifts came from the checking account that also pays my mortgage.

Last year, when Brad asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him I only wanted two things: a scale that measures body fat (I realize this is in no way normal) and a basic running watch. Together, those things cost about $50. Brad wanted an ipod nano, which was about $300. Well, I learned something about Christmas that year -- or at least Christmas the way his family celebrates it. First, you can't just buy someone ONE gift, even if that gift costs big bucks, because they run out of things to open before everyone else does. And second, you can't spend $50 on one spouse and $300 on the other. So he made up the difference by buying me a pair of very pretty diamond earrings. Which was a wonderful gift (I'm wearing them now, in fact), but somewhat unnecessary. Also, unlike my memories of Hanukkah, which involved getting one or two nice gifts from my parents, Christmas -- at least the way Brad's family celebrates it -- involves buying gifts for brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, co-workers, friends, the mailman, every member of your church, and the lady that scans your groceries in the supermarket check-out line. No wonder people can't pay off their credit cards in January!

I'm not trying to be a scrooge, but seriously...between the Christmas decorations in bikini weather, the need to outspend your relatives, and the search for a trinket for your local bank teller, aren't we all just going a little Christmas-overboard these days?