This time of year, Brad and I always have the same argument. You know that often-quoted statistic that the average American gains six pounds over the holidays, or whatever the number is? Yeah...we argue over that. Every year. We're an exciting couple, let me tell you.
I'm not one to normally "rank" my statistics, but that one is at the bottom of my list. It's right above blondes having more fun. I don't care how fat, skinny or in-between you are, I don't get why the five-week period between Thanksgiving and New Years is an excuse to eat yourself into a coma and be forced to contend with the Jan. 2 resolution-setting gym crowd.
Now, far be it from me to be self-righteous about my own eating habits. My version of "everything in moderation" involves only eating three-quarters of a 16 oz. ribeye so I can save room for the chocolate suicide on the dessert menu. I can't go around berating people about losing weight as someone who could stand to do so myself. But the holidays thing? Just makes me mad.
The "discussion" typically goes something like this.
Husband: There are so many big meals this time of year! Thanksgiving dinner! Christmas Eve dinner! Christmas brunch! How can you get through those meals without eating a lot?
Me: Three big meals? I eat that in a typical day! You're telling me that three meals in a five-week period are going to make me gain six pounds?
Husband: But they're really big meals.
Me: I don't care how much food is on the table, you can only over-eat a certain amount before you make yourself sick. And I don't see most people puking after Christmas brunch.
Husband: Okay, but what about all that in-between stuff? Those holiday luncheons and parties?
Me: Holiday luncheons are lunch. They're not lunch-on-top-of-lunch. You skip your regular burger and fries at Bennigans and eat ham and deviled eggs instead. I normally feel pretty full after lunch; I don't feel fuller after lunch (or dinner) because "holiday" is in the name.
Husband: But there are cookies and candy everywhere you go.
Me: There are cookies and candy everywhere you go ALL YEAR! Buy them from the freaking vending machine down the hall in April! Walk into Kroger and fill your cart in July! No matter where I go during any month, I always have the option of eating junk food!
Husband: But...egg nog is only available for two months!
Me: Okay, you win that one. (I looooove me some nog. But it's not like I drink it twice a day.)
Husband: Well, people don't have time to exercise during the entire months of November and December. (He doesn't really say that. In fact, I'm exaggerating most of his statements just to make me look smart.)
Me: You have more time off during November and December that you have during the whole year. Despite all the running around I do, I'm usually bored to tears. Get up at 11 instead of sleeping in 'til noon and go for a walk!
I guess if I survivded on lettuce and diet coke throughout the year and started stuffing myself with mashed potatoes and gravy in November, I'd gain six pounds. Maybe it's because I eat like crap all the time that a few pieces of ham and some peanut-butter cookies in December aren't going to put me over the edge (see? A testament to eating like crap. Yea). Still, I think people hear that statistic and figure it's acceptable to stuff themselves silly every day for five weeks because it's the "norm." Honestly, the only thing it will do is make you miserable when there's a two-hour line for the stairmaster in January.
I'm curious to hear what other people think. Do you gain a ridiculous amount of weight over the holidays?
(By the way, sweetie, if you're reading this...I was talking about my OTHER husband. :)
