Success!

It's over! I'm sitting here on the couch, marveling at the mitten I just finished (yes, mitten = singular. I made a few mistakes during the learning process, so I figure I'll use this as my "training mitten" and start a real pair tomorrow, now that I sorta know what I'm doing). But anyway...yeah, the surgery. Not the mitten.

I was amazed at how quickly the whole thing went, considering how slowly things typically move in the U.S. healthcare system. Brad drove me to the hospital bright and early. I had my knitting with me in anticipation of a wait, but they took me back into the prep room before I could even say "my mom isn't here yet!"

I changed into a very fashionable gown that only tied around my neck and left the rest flapping in the breeze, verified a billion times that it was, in fact, my LEFT knee, winced when they put in an IV, and then chilled out (ha! I was so nervous I was actually shaking) under some warm blankets. They let Brad and mom come back for awhile, just in time for them to hear me answer some very embarrassing health-related questions. Sweet.

The anisthesiologist resident, who was just as easy on the eyes as someone straight out of Grey's, stopped by to talk about the sedation process. My terror was increasing by the minute (a pump down my throat to put air in my lungs?!?), so he gave me a shot of some medicine to relax me. When it first hit, it actually made me feel dizzy and disoriented, but after a couple minutes, it did the job and made me feel like I'd just downed a martini at Cafe Felix, at which point I think I said, "why did I quit drinking?" I vaguely remember my surgeon stopping by, and kinda recall saying good-bye to my family. Apparently, I was blabbering my head off for about 15 minutes, but I have no memory of that. Oh lord.

I also have a brief flash of moving from the gurney onto the operating table, although I don't remember being wheeled into the OR. They put what the nurse called an "oxygen" mask on my face and told me to breathe deeply. (They did the same thing when I had my tonsils out. Something tells me the mask was not, in fact, filled with oxygen. I'm so gullible!) And then I woke up.

I only remember bits and pieces of the recovery room. I woke up and was all, "it's over? Seriously?" But I checked, and there it was -- a huge bandage on my leg (the correct leg, thank you). Then I realized my leg was throbbing like hell. It was maybe a 7 out of 10 on the pain scale. The nurse gave me two pills to swallow and put some extra stuff in my IV, and it felt better almost immediately. Over the next half-hour or so, a bunch of things happened that I remember in random flashes: Brad and my mom coming back, peeing with a nurse in the room, and feeling horribly guilty that I was "taking someone's spot" because I wasn't ready to leave yet. (??) Brad said I asked the nurse about eight times if she was absolutely positive it was OK to stay in recovery for a little bit longer. Honestly, I was just freezing and the warm blankets felt awesome.

My doctor stopped by and said everything went wonderfully. Now, it's all a little fuzzy, but I'm 99% sure he said "I saw what was rubbing and has been causing your pain, so I cut it out. I also cleaned up the scar tissue around it." I SO hope that's what he said, at least. I have a follow-up appointment on Monday, so I'll know for sure after that. He also said my thigh is pretty swollen, so to keep an eye on it and go to the ER if it gets worse. Four hours later, it hasn't gotten any worse and doesn't hurt, so I think it's probably okay.

The nurse wheeled me out to the car and Brad helped me climb in. I stretched out across the backseat, my knee propped up on pillows. I couldn't quite figure out how to fasten the seatbelt in my precarious position, so I made Brad pinkie-swear he'd drive safely. (He drives like a grandma anyway, so it was a joke.)

I was pretty groggy on the way home, but as soon as we got there, I had a big mug of coffee -- thank GOD. Apparently coffee counteracts the hydrocodone drowsiness, because I couldn't really fall asleep after that. I'm due for another pill in 30 minutes, so hopefully I'll be able to crash after that.

Overall, I'm just sore, stiff and drowsy, but I definitely wouldn't say I'm in horrible pain. I'm sure it'll get worse tonight -- from my two previous surgery experiences, that was what tended to happen. But the bottom line is, it's over, it (apparently) went well, and I have no idea what I said or did when I was under the effect of my Cafe Felix Martini. Oh, and I now know how to knit a mitten.